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A Deceived heart…

A deceived heart, Love was never meant to be in my life as have been the target of several people in the past, present and will definitely in the future. I was once in love, not once many times but they are not my feelings they were the being that had got hold of me since I was just a toddler.

When I 1st joined the school in my early childhood I was made to skip a year, although no reason had been provided to me, they must have thought why to bother the young one with details of his own life. My cousin was in the correct year and she was only a month or to be precise 27 days older than me.

Anyway, when the time came for sports day I was performing quite well I thought to myself. The rest you can probably guess or make up on your mind on how it went down.

It’s nearing finishing time and I sat down near a post which was being removed from the ground and I got hit on the back of my head on the left side and I was bleeding but conscious, to some extent what I thought was me was not me it was the Pot of shit that had knocked my unconscious while he was possessing my distant cousins body and he hit me with that log and on the distance there was another figure that had travelled time back from a year not too far away, he came to modify the future for his own gain.

So I was treated by the local Dr. and then I was back but not to a warm welcome but an annoyed one by my maternal grandmother.

So 12 years had passed between that incident and this.

I was at a local secondary school in the UK, after being displaced by war and family troubles.

I saw a beautiful smile when I went to the canteen in my break time, it was when on the doorway that smile although it was blurred out from my view by the Pot of shit I was sure it was someone I’d like, although that person is also a snake at heart and their purpose was to lure me in, they had succeeded but I was also like a butterfly at those times I was crushing on every beautiful girl in class and in the school.

On that day I couldn’t make out the face so went back again to see her but to no avail, she was gone. ( if only I knew what she was up then I would have never looked back, dam I would have never even gone to that city.)

The second time was in the same canteen she was standing behind me and did nothing she just stood there so I got my stuff and left, I was very shy around girls at that time and I still am although I have been married the proposal to the wife was made through intermediaries like my aunt.

I also felt a little uncomfortable at asking her out at that time as well as she was a couple of years younger than me.

This happened at my 1st job it was a garage so I would serve and she with her relatives would come by whenever I was on shift, they may be just buying fuel you’d be thinking, no she would do her makeup as she does it for a lover or some shit she knew what she was doing and so did a close relative of my own, because he was the one who got me my 1st weekend job, If she was going to a party you’d think she has all her shit done before you go on the road but no, and I would just drool over all that shit, oh and I didn’t know her name for 4 years and finally Myspace and gave me her name.

One day during summer she bought her mother and she didn’t come in her mother did and when she left the money one the counter she asked me something that will haunt my life quite some time, she asked: “would you like to marry my daughter”. Fuck yeah, I thought, well not I didn’t think that at all I was just amazed and just taken away by that question and without giving me time to think she took my big cheesy grin that went from ear to ear as a yes.

So I was happy for a little while and then one day when I went to the cinema with my female cousin she must’ve thought I was dating someone and that, and at that time weren’t even speaking(up to this date we never even had a single face to face conversation, I think her mum and I talked more than she and me).

I was busy studying in another city from my home city and I missed a lot of opportunity because of my stupidity and shyness, also I was made to miss such opportunities with her. One such chance came when I was coming back from the at 6 in the evening and after spending 12 hours there. I would get up at 6 am and come home at 7 pm. One day I was in the town centre about to board the last bus back home and I saw her with her friends and I was so sure that she wanted to talk but me being shy and shit kind felt awkward and ai thought to myself if I miss this bus then I’d have to walk 3km with 15 kg of metalwork and tools from my apprenticeship school and my idiot father can’t drive me because he would be drunk and at that time my phone was dead. So I chose to leave and say sorry later and this must have hit a nerve with the cousin and this shit.

I was a weekend job and so this time I was doing a 12-hour shift and she comes by with another man and my wild mind went crazy and was shocked at the site and I know she knew it and so did the guy it was written all over my face.

I was heartbroken and furious at being lured into a false sense of hope of romance and love and other blissful things together. So I did what any crazy over-stressed and broken man would do I asked her why she did that on FB and she blocked me and I tried Myspace no reply still. Oh, I also lashed out at others.

One week later I was calm and because we had not spoken or exchanged anything like a kiss or even a simple “hi” or “hello” I was over her and I thought would do the decent thing and let her do her shit in peace and so I cleared my mind and I went back to work.

The snake came back this time all she would do is drive-by and honk her horn and this made me get hooked on her again and I messaged again and proposed we meet at the town centre, and she did come with her brother or someone, and I thought to myself will she come down and meet me or will she leave and I went inside the complex and she left. This was also not my doing, my feet were dragging me inside and I was sitting there.

I explained to her that I would not get into cars with strangers, I was sheepish, although that was not my intention.

So I asked her again to meet and this time she was with friends and I was going to the spot and I saw her coming out from somewhere else but my eyes were blurry and my feet didn’t stop.

Oh, all this time she never except once replied to my messages I would invite and then got to the spot.

The one time she did reply she talked like a “chav” if you’re new to western culture especially the UK then look it up on youtube. I was done with the no reply and that fact that she and all her female relatives were driving past where I was working in her disguise with men and well you can tell what it does to someone who’s been in love and they’re being portrayed as a whore of the town.

There was a family gathering in northern Europe I had to go.

When I came back she was with someone else this time and I gave the notice into my relative and left the job. The only great thing I did to save my sanity.

#Deceit #LOVE #Hate #Dilusion #Elamnites

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