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It’s not going well 2

We eventually moved to a three bed house in another estate and thats where my life got messed up by some people.

1 Father rejoined us here and we bought tge house with small savings from the work my mother had done, but he came with vengence me thinks, well because he would always abuse us verbally and beat us up all of us when ever he got drunk he would talk about how messed up his life is.

2 our neighbours had a policy contineuing hatred towards us they would call us pakis and throw rocks at our house and scracth our cars and insult and make a mockery of our belifs, but at the moment it’s a bit calm, because of the hatred towards us we got the police involved far too many times to count. And always, always they would not get arrested but i got a warning for defending myslef and after that i was not allowed to play outside my own house. They would bring in their freinds from other streets to harass us when ever they feel like it, and when ever we tell their parents they would tell us theyr would do somehting about it and another minute later theyr would be back to thorw rocks at our windows. We eventully fitted a CCTV to our house and a porch light and that kinda put them off for a while but their mother is such a, no better word for it, cunt and she would encourage them i have herd her encouraging them. This hatred lasted to 8.5 years and during that time there were no arrests made on their side. Oh and they were’nt exactly cockasian either they were like us immigrants and they had mixed with the locals and they were half and half.

3 Mental instability as days progressed and i was not going anywhere i was stuck in my room because my the fighting between my parents and i cant step out side incase i beat someone up with anything i can get hold. So my mind turned to Harry Potter books, however i was hooked on them i wanted to read all of them but i had to go to bed by the time they choose even thoughi was old enough to decide that for myself. My father would come in the room and start to argue with me that it’s not going to feed me in the future instead that I should be studying and so because of him i never went past the forth book and even that half way, this put me off book for quite while and i still havent picked one up ever since. If you must know such things are a mental drain, not reading but denying your soul some new enegry in the form of good books, music and art as well creativity. The latter was killed off when i was young by my mothers father. This caused the rise of internal spite.

4 Suicide. I tried to kill myself for the 1st time with serious effort, i have tried it before when my mother said that i came to ruin her happiness i drank some bleach, at that time it was a small quantity and i wasnt quite aware of its impacts and nothing happend and i went back to my shared room and woke up the next day. So the 1st serious effort was done with 32 paracetamols and unfortunatley for me thats when all of world was turned upside down I was rushed to the hospital and when they discharged me I spent a month in a unit for for those struggling with things in life. I was free to go outside and continue with my exsistence, not living, exsisting is a different thing altogeather. It’s a state where you have a heart beat youre breathing and walking and talking but its not living. So far it’s been 13 years since i have been on care with the NHS. I WANT TO BE FREE from THEM.

5 Marriage. I was for a good two years Married to a beautiful girl from Colombo who after the two years had ended i found to be a phsycopath. She went off the radar for 2 months and when she came back she acted like there was nothing wrong. We were livng in different countrys( UK and Sri Lanka). technically i’m still married to her but she wants a divorce and i would love to give it to her but she does not want to go to court or sign the paper works, go figure. She was a nurse when i met her and after the wedding i would go and visit twice to every year and i would try to aake the most of it with her but she would always have other prioritys, thats fine but i’m only here once in while cant she spent it with me. When i tried to sponsor her to the UK she wasnt co-operting with me she would go offline for days on end and when she got back she would ask for money for things she does nit need, like a second mibile phone, the 1st one she claimed was broken which i found out when i went there that she was still using, but i sent her the money anyway. And after two years, this august makes three years of seperation and sometime sshe would call just to piss me off saying where’s the divorce papers. Also she attended a English medium school and when ever i asked her in english what school she studied she would like and talk like a retard, i still dont know why.

6 Work. My Acedemic life has not been great, beacause we moved around when i was young i was missing at least two years of schooling and beacause i had to study in three different languages i had trouble grasping the nature of some subjects, however i did my best in science and maths and IT, but i was pressured into taking another course which i wasted another 10 months in studying engineering but i know how to use and milling and turning machine as well a CAD. So i was forced to work at my fathers workplace at 17 going to 18 in 5 months so i had a bad start and i didnt like working for him i wanted to run the garage there were plenty of oppertunity’s there but he just wanted to labour away there all his life so when i saw an oppertunity to leave three years later i did just that. The new job was’nt all that great the man i worked for said he’ll hire me as a team leader but apparently i wasn’t good enough, sould’ve said no to what he was offering, so he offerd me a loer possition and i took it because i wanted something new.

6 Gambling. On the second job i discoverd scratchcards and thats kinda took away nearly 70% of my wages and i’m trying quit that as well that and alcohol is my only vice along with porn nothing else.

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